One Big Wave

Definitely Moving Forward

When I read romance articles I’m starting to imagine us being together. Thinking about you more and more often as each hour goes by. I’m starting to find myself checking my phone and hoping it’s you that message me. With all these signs telling me that I might like you, I am still unsure. You still party and drink a lot, not something I would want in a person I want to spend the rest of my life with. You have goals and dreams but you are not driven enough to take action to make them happen. You let temptation get the best of you when the time comes to put it to the test. You told me that you wouldn’t be going to the club last night because you didn’t want to associate yourself with a group of people that were stuck up, but you ended up going anyways. You’re definitely the prettiest girl I know, you got the natural beauty that not a lot of girls have, but are you smart enough, are you driven enough, are you going to do something with your life, are you going fight fair? Questions that often come up when I think about you. Right now I am still unsure about you. What I do know is that I’m waiting for you to message me.

Confused Mind

What does it mean when you’re sad and you think about your ex? Does that mean you’re not ready for the next person to come into your life yet?

Today my mom said she is starting to not like me because I have a bad attitude. What she doesn’t know is that I have a bad attitude because I don’t like the fact that she’s always asking me so many questions. I feel like I’m reporting to a PO or something. I don’t feel like I have the freedom to do whatever I want. However I can’t move out either. I have the responsibility to take care of her and my family. I also have the fear that she’ll do something crazy and stupid at home. She has a very bad temper and her tone of voice is very pestering. Her tone of voice is like a constant argument. 

Have I gone off track and need some straightening? 

Dreaming with You

You were in my dream for the first time. You were frustrated with the fact that we’re not together. A little weird. Then we went to an award show where I had to present. It was for a future role within Google. I was really upset and you were there to make me feel better. 

Even in my dreams you make me feel better. 

Good Monday

It felt good to be happy again. I reconnected with a lot of people from my past that I miss. I will make an effort to reach out to them again soon. 

Met some new friends today as well. Wonder what that story will be like.

Realization

While laying in bed trying to sleep, I have just realize I care too much what others think of me and how it has hinder me to chase after my goals and dreams. Starting this moment I will focus on becoming a better than and chase after 1M. again. 

Nightmare or Dream?

I’m still having dreams/nightmares about you. When will they stop. However, I do feel happier without you than with you these days. I just have to deal with the abandonment feeling even though it was a mutual decision. 

Happy Birthday

Today is your Birthday. I’ve been thinking about you a lot again. Is it you that I miss or the idea of you that I miss?